Wind
by abattoirr
Summary: Sadness. Death. It explains itself. Rated M for suicide, I guess?
1. Untitled

**A/N: This is most likely going to be terrible, and people will probably hate me for it. But I love Adam, I just thought this would be a fun thing to write~ Also, I'm not good at timing things. I'm not really sure what grade Adam would be in; in 2014, or if he would be in any grade at all, but lets just cooperate, okay? Thank you. I'm writing a second chapter and then maybe that'll be it. Who knows xD Anyway, yeah. Blah.**

_Everything has changed so much and it's starting to scare me. I want it back; the past. Some of it anyway, before my family went downhill and everything turned around on me. Today is March 12, 2014. I honestly don't know why I'm writing this, but uh- I'm doing it._

_I'm holding what may be my only way out, in my hands- a gun. A not-so-friendly old friend of mine got it for me, lovely, isn't it? Luckily my brother's complete ignorance in the fact that his girlfriend is as bitter as they come helped me. Without that I wouldn't be here right now, anyway. I won't be for much longer._

_So I'm sorry to everyone. If I've ever hurt you or made you upset in anyway. I'm so sorry and you won't have to deal with that much longer. Time is almost up. You can all have stress free lives, and be happy without me. I'm just a burden anyhow. Thank you for dealing with me for so long, I know it must've been hell for all of you. But now I'm giving you all a wish that you can't deny. I'll be gone._

_I'll be at the abandoned church if you want to find me. Warning, though. Blood will be involved._

_-Adam_

* * *

><p>I finished writing the note and reread it. It was perfect; or at least as perfect as a suicide note can be. I got up from my desk and put on my favorite jacket. It was a Dead Hand jacket that Eli had gotten for me for my birthday a few months back. It was the best gift I had gotten. Then again, I had gotten it from my best friend.<p>

I walked downstairs and saw that the house was empty besides me. The only thing I could hear was the faint ticking of the clock in the dining room. It was mocking me; telling me that time was almost up. I had barely an hour to get to my school and get to the abandoned church before classes started.

I walked out the backdoor- the cold Toronto air touching my cheeks. The wind made my hair swoop so I threw my beanie on. Soon I would be as cold as my hometowns wind. After all, the wind and I had a lot in common. We're both cold and moving, but eventually we have our time to go. Only difference is that the winds time is sometime else; and mine is now.

I walked through the little snow that was left in the backyard. It crunched under my feet, and I enjoyed the sound. I shoved my hands in my jacket pocket; feeling my hand brush against the cold metal of the pistol. I let out a chuckle as I reached the door of Degrassi, I set the gun in a bush before heading inside.

No one was in the halls, but I could hear faint conversation in a few classrooms as I passed them by. I walked to where the drama department was held- which was also where Eli spent his days at now as a drama assistant- I found a locker in the room marked 'Elijah Gold.' He had always hated his last name. If anyone were to find out I would want it to be him. He wasn't the type to cry, so he would be fine with the news. Or at least I hope so.

I spun around and walked out of the door, and out of the front of the school. There were a few familiar faces waiting in the back of the school. Some younger students; and Fiona. She had become a student teacher at the school after she left for college and then I called off the engagement.

Fiona, oh god I still loved her so much. Last I'd seen of her was a drunken make out session at a party Drew forced me to go to a few weeks back. Well, I was drunk anyway. She wasn't. She wouldn't understand if I told her why I had to call off the engagement, so I avoided her. It was hard though considering she was in my school every day a week.

It was getting colder, and the wind had started blowing harder, like a reminder that I needed to hurry. I quickly picked the gun up and shoved it back into my jacket pocket.

oOo

I set off towards the abandoned church, thinking of memories I'd had the past few years here. Parties with Drew, make-out sessions with Fiona and random girls that had been at those parties. Concerts with Eli and Bullfrog, and guy nights with them. Good memories, but the bad outweighed the good.

Owen's cousin had come here after Owen graduated, and he definitely took on Owen's style. He was big and as much of an asshole as his elder. He helped Owen find me and beat me up a few times, or he would do it himself with his group of friends.

I took my beanie off and dropped it on the ground as I came to the broken down church where I had thrown a party for Fiona at years ago; though it wasn't much of a party for me. She didn't show up. I think then is when I had my first heart break. The wind blew my hair, and I pulled the silver and black pistol out of my pocket and set it down on a rock that I had used for a seat when there were parties here.

Red cups scattered around the ground, covered in leaves and mud. Eli and I had done a lot to this place; but soon it would be a place for police to search. They would find empty alcohol bottles and half-smoked cigarettes. And they'd find me without a pulse.

I pulled a fresh razor out of my pocket and pressed it against my left wrist; clenching my hand into a fist so the blood would come out faster. A few tears rolled down my face and dripped down onto my wrist; making it burn. I set the razor down and glanced around, my sight was getting blurry and I started to become dizzy. I picked the gun up and looked at it. It seemed to shine; but that could have been because I was fading away.

I checked to make sure the gun was loaded- which it was- before pulling it up to the side of my head. I pulled the trigger back a little bit and heard a _CLICK_ echo in the barrel; along with my heartbeat. It was slowing.

I pulled the trigger back all the way and my breathing stopped before the bullet could even hit me. As soon as they did I fell over and into a pool of my own blood. It was an in-and-out. Enterance through right above my right ear; exit through above the left. My pulse faded out, and I became cold.

oOo

About half an hour later my best friend showed up to my side, followed by Fiona. Fiona started crying and almost fainted; but Eli just stood there in shock. Becoming numb to all feeling. I had seen this side of him before; it was the same reaction he had when he and Clare had broken up for the first time.

Not only had I killed myself; but the people that meant more to me than anything in the universe.


	2. Bottom

I woke up, staring up at the ceiling and squinting at the bright light of the sun shining in through my bedroom window. Normally I was happy about the sun, and bright and happy. But not for the last 3 days, or for a long time after this. I sat up in my bed, seeing empty champagne bottles scattered across the floor and my dresser.

Standing, I attempt to walk but stumble, quickly relying on the nearest dresser for support. I hear a knock at the door, dashing out of my room and through my condo to the front door. Maybe it was Adam, maybe he had come back somehow.

As soon as I open the door, tears fall from my eyes. It's not Adam; its Eli. I become limp and call into his arms, crying harder into his chest. His sweater becomes damp with both drops of rain and my tears. "Come on, Fi, let's go inside." He mumbles, obviously trying to hold himself together. The boy leads me back inside, allowing me to use him as a crutch as we walk into my room and to my bed.

"He's gone, Eli. He's never coming back, is he?" I manage to barely get the words out between sobs. Eli shakes his head, placing a hand on my shoulder. He's trying not to cry, I can tell. The way his eyes are closed tight and his mouth is formed in a frown. The only time I ever recall seeing him cry is when he and Clare gotten into a fight, and the day that we found Adam.

"Sadly, and I wish this weren't how it was, he isn't." he says through a clenched jaw. My hand finds its way to his hair, ruffling it. He scrunches his nose up, letting a tear fall from his eye. I know he's wishing that we were still in the doorway were the rain was hitting him so he could use that as an excuse.

He looks around and sees the many bottles on my floor, shaking his head in disapproval. "He'd be so disappointed in-" I start, being cut off by Eli's finger touching my lips to stop me from continuing. He knows why I relapsed, and he knows that it's completely normal to relapse. He doesn't see me as a failure, and neither would Adam. They know what relapse is like, and Adam had talked to my therapist on a few occasions about how hard alcohol addiction is to get over without relapse. Knowing Adam, he talked to Eli about it. They tell each other everything.

Eli slides up the sleeve of his sweater, biting his lip to keep from sobbing, "It's okay."

I lay back on my bed, spotting a shirt of Adam's on what was his side of my bed when he stayed over. Memories of him come flooding back, making tears form in my eyes and quickly fall. The smell of the shirt is him, I would notice that smell anywhere. It was my favorite shirt of his. It was tight on his torso, clinging to his body from sweating during our make-out sessions. It smelled of his cologne mixed with a bit of vanilla from the last time we spent the night together. I remember everything about that night.

Eli stands and starts picking up various bottles from my room before walking out. He knew it was time for him to leave me for myself, he knows a lot. When I know he's gone I take the shirt in my hands, looking at it and sniffing it. He made me feel genuinely like a princess, and now the next time I'll ever see him is years from now when we meet again. Who knows when that could be.

To keep myself from crying on the shirt and ruining the smell of him I get up and walk to the kitchen, pulling out another bottle and pulling the cork out. Eli is in the bathroom, so I take the cork and the bottle and head back to my room, sitting on my bed and taking a large gulp from the bottle. My foot kicks at some other bottles that are under and around my bed. My stomach starts to hurt, but I don't start worrying. I always feel like this after drinking.

But this is no normal stomachache. My heart starts beating really fast, and I can feel myself becoming cold. "Eli!" I yell, dropping the other bottle from my hand and watching it shatter along with another bottle that it hit on the way down. He runs in, kneeling next to me and frowning. "Take me to the hospital," I say, "now."

Eli picks me up gently and carries me outside to his car. The doors unlock and make a clicking noise, and that's when I black out.

Everything fades away to black and I feel nothing, it's like sleeping, only not good at all.

oOo

When I wake up next there are tubes coming out of my body, a doctor is hovering over me and mumbling something to a nurse. All I can make out of it is '_Needs a' _and '_death'_. I go numb at the words, closing my eyes again and faking sleep. There's a faint pounding on the wall outside of my room, and then a voice yells my name. Or at least I think so.

Soon I fade back to sleep, dreaming of Adam and all the nights we spent together. Seeing him one last time and trying to talk him out of it. I know deep down that when I wake up he won't be back, but this makes me feel better for a while. Maybe I won't wake up again though, hopefully I won't.

I wasn't doing this on purpose, though, it just happened. I drank too much the night before, and It caused failures in my body when I drank more. At this point I have given up already. I mean, the only person that actually cared for me and loved me is gone, so why the hell not? Death seems tempting right now.

There's a sharp pain in my hand. Someone is holding it. I shoot up in my sleep, nearly yanking the needles out of my arm that the nurse had been giving me a shot with. Eli was holding my hand, and my family was gathered around the room. Declan's eyes were puffy and red; he wiped his face with a tissue and let out a sigh of relief when he saw me. "Fi!" he exclaimed, moving closer to me. I missed him, my twin. In the corner of the room was my mother, she had her arms crossed over her chest and a blank expression on her face. It scared me.

Eli let go of my hand, letting Declan take it instead. Without noticing I squeezed onto my brothers' hand, as if doing that would keep me alive. He winced at how hard I was holding his hand. Eli nodded at the nurse, waiting for her to leave before speaking. "Fi, you're dying." He mumbled, swallowing hard and putting a hand on Declan's shoulder. "You don't have much longer, and the only way we can help is if you agree for the surgery and stop drinking." He knew. God, why does Eli know everything? I know what to do now, and he just made this impossible to avoid. This being death, of course. I don't want to avoid it, so that's fortunate for me.

My mother spoke up, glaring at the dark haired boy. "Let us help you." She said, her voice sounding needy. I couldn't, though. I can't. I need to be with Adam, but my family wouldn't understand. Eli does though, because he would do the same for Clare. He almost had done the same for his ex before her, after she died. He talked to me about it the night that we found Adam.

Images of Adam come back. Him lying in the dirt, blood everywhere, and his skin colder than anything I've ever felt. The way he was there, but he wasn't. The way his face was stained with tears and dried blood. Or, at least what was left of his face. The bullet had went through his ear and close to his temple on the other side. When his skull came in contact with the rock beneath him; it collapsed. Most likely the funeral will be closed casket. I need to see him.

_Maybe they can fix him,_ I hope. If they can fix a mutilated body, why can't they fix a mutilated society? It makes no sense. But whatever floats their boat goes, I guess. I've started drifting off again, and Declan squeezes my hand slightly. I fell out of my daze and looked over at him, looking into his eyes like he could understand what I was thinking. He kind of could though, I hope. People say that twins can do things like that, I just hope its true; I want him to let me die. I need to.

Declan nods, trying not to start crying again.

The doctor comes in, telling everyone that visiting hours are over. They say their goodbyes and leave. So I head back to sleep.

oOo

I wake up and no one is in my room. The clock says its seven. Today is the day of Adam's funeral, and I think Declan convinced the nurse to let me stay the night at home afterwards. Hopefully he did. I quickly stepped off of my bed, yanking the needle out of my arm and covering my mouth quickly to keep from making a noise from the pain. I'm not wearing any socks so the coldness of the hospital floor is almost unbearable. I clench my jaw, kneeling slightly over and picking up blue-green hospital socks from the side of the bed, slipping them on my feet.

I tiptoe out of my door, glancing around but seeing no one. I hear faint voices. Declan's voice. He's talking on the phone with someone who I assume to be H.J. The way his voice is sounding, he's been crying for a while now. The only words I can actually understand from him are 'death' and 'alcohol'. Alcohol, I'm the only one he could be talking about if that word is involved. My twin brother has probably given up on me. Or at least, given up on hope for me recovering. Does he realize how much I loved Adam? No. He mostly hated Adam, so he didn't know much about our relationship. Every time I brought Adam up in the past he would just groan. The first time he met Adam they ended up almost fighting. I just wish our family weren't so drama filled. Guess that's kind of my fault, though, isn't it?

Delcan rounds the corner to my room, hanging up his phone and shoving it into his pocket. He wipes his face when he sees me, then runs to me and hugs me tightly. I groan at the sudden pressure in my stomach. "I missed you." he said, mumbling against my shoulder.

"I've been here the whole time, Dex. You're hugging me a little too tight, though," I whisper and step back into my room. I hate hospitals. When you're here, someone is dying. Someone is dying and you can't help them. The people that aren't dying are lucky. But some of us don't want to be. I mean, I'm not the only person that wants to die. Adam did, too, and he got what he wanted. He's gone. And I'm stuck here, suicidal and a mess. Probably dying. I don't know what happened while I was asleep, or what decisions were made. But they probably weren't anything I would agree with. I didn't want the help, I just wanted to be left to die.

Declan lets go of me, giving me an apologetic glance before looking down at his shoes. "You ready for the funeral?" he asks, grabbing a bag from off of the chair in the room. I wonder whats in side of it. "Obviously not, you haven't got your outfit on." he smiles slyly and hands me the bag. "Go get ready."

I nod and push him out of my room, closing the door and taking the red and black dress out of the bag. Its beautiful. And its also the dress I worse on Adam and I's first date. Declan knew this, but how? When I told him about our date he didn't even as much as look at me. Maybe he was paying attention, but he kept his mouth shut so he could use the information some day. He knew how happy Adam made me, and now he's letting me relive that day. I strip out of my hospital clothes and put the dress on, being unable to zip the back up. I remember having to ask Adam to do it for me. He was the sweetest.

Knowing I was unstable for walking, Declan had bought me red shoes. Converse, Adam wore these. They said something on the side of them, too: _R.I.P. Adam Torres_. Declan didn't hate him at all, he just respected my relationship enough to stay out of it but pay attention when he needed to. I put the shoes on over the socks, sitting on the edge of the uncomfortable bed and leaning over to tie the shoes. They were comfortable, surprisingly. No wonder Adam had worn them.

Declan knocks on the door impatiently before walking in and covering his eyes, "ready Princess?" he asks with a chuckle. I take his hand away from his face and smile.

"How do I look?"

"Like a Torres," he says kindly, taking my hand and leading me out of the room, "amazing."

When we get out of the hospital, I see my family waiting outside in a van. That isn't their usual transportation. Then again, this is the day of the funeral and Adam wouldn't want me riding a limo, he'd love this. It was the same car his mother had when he and Drew were younger, as I recall Adam telling me. And I had told Declan. I run over to the car as a tear falls down my face, only this time I'm not crying bad tears, but good ones.

I climb into the van, seeing Drew and Eli in the back along with Bianca. Eli pats the spot next to him, grinning at me. "You look like a true Torres woman, Fiona." Drew says and smiles at me. His face was swollen from crying, and Bianca wore a guilty look. She was in the note, that's who Adam was talking about. It would take everything in me to not tear her apart on the spot. But I'll deal, its okay. I'm not capable of doing much anyway seeing as I can barely walk let alone kill someone. Except, maybe, myself.

Eli puts my seatbelt on, giving me a hopeful look. Knowing what I was thinking, since he had read the note, too. He gives me a flower, my favorite. It has a card on it that says_ "I love you, Princess. - Prince Charming"_ on it. That is what Adam gave me on our second date. It was perfect. I give Eli a friendly peck on the cheek, wiping a few tears from his eyes. He nods at me and smiles bigger than I've ever seen before. Its not his usual smirk, or the smile he has around Clare. Its the smile I rarely see because he's too shy to be happy. Its wonderful seeing him smile, because I know Adam would be happy with it. The way he's looking at me is like he's happy to have me around and supporting him, even if its on such traumatic terms. Suddenly I'm not just the girlfriend of his best friend. I saved him, and I can see it in the way he's looking at me like I'm the most amazing person in the world.

Bianca and Drew are talking about something, and I see a tear roll down her cheek. Why was she crying? Does she regret enabling her boyfriend's brother to kill himself? Its a little too late to be regretting things, so whats the point? What's done is done. I really wish I weren't such a hypocrite. I can't help but try to force myself to forgive her, though. For all we know she had no idea what he needed the gun for. And as far as I knew; Drew was Adam's only brother. Which I'm 99.9% sure is a fact. Even if it isn't, Adam doesn't speak to his birth father so he wouldn't know of any other siblings.

Adam's father. Adam has told me about him, how he left his mother behind because he found someone else. Adam's mother was very controlling, honestly. I don't like her very much but I tolerated her. I had to, I was in love with her son. If I want him I have to get along with his mother as much as humanly possible. His father knows about Adam, and accepts it and wanted Adam to come live with him but Drew wouldn't let Adam leave, and Eli couldn't bear the though, either. Plus, me, I would have no one either. Maybe Clare, but I barely linger in her life. She's just merely a friend, not close at all, we just know few things about each other thanks to our boyfriends. Maybe Eli, but he and I didn't know each other very well either up until Adam, well, you know.

Soon we arrive at the funeral home, there are tons of people. A lot of them whom I don't think Adam ever knew, or maybe never told me about. They all wore ties that were baby blue and light pink. Those were the trans* pride colors, Adam told me that once. Why were they here, though? I notice one of them from a transition video I watched with Adam. I don't remember his name though. But why was he here, just because Adam was gone? Then I realize, Declan. I told him about the guy before before and how Adam wished he had more transgender friends to transition with. He would never get the chance to have that now, but at least they can show support at his funeral.

Drew opens the van door, stepping out and taking Bianca's hand to help her out. Then Eli stands, helps me out of the back seat, and gets out of the van with me. He closes the door behind us and I stumble a bit. Eli balances me, holding me up and walking towards the doors to the funeral home.

A few of the people wearing the pink and blue ties waved to me, smiling shyly and following the rest of us inside. There was Adam, just as innocent and fragile as always. Although a little shattered, he was just as perfect as I remembered him. Well, besides remembering him covered in blood and having his brain matter splattered about trees. He was perfect from far away, and he probably was from closer up, too. I need to see him.

I pull away from Eli's grip, dashing towards the casket and leaning over it. He wore the outfit he wore on our first date, and my favorite beanie was tucked into his jacket pocket like it was that day as well. I don't know why I'm still getting surprised, I should expect this.

Even though this stuff makes me happy, it just makes me long to be with Adam more. I shouldn't say anything to Declan, and I won't. I won't even as much as look at him until after the funeral. A song by Dead Hand plays quietly in the background, and hundreds of pictures cover the room, along with flowers, cards, and people.

I touched his cheek gently with my thumb, stroking it in small circles like I would do to him before waking up in the morning. I could almost see his lips lifting up to form a smile, but I knew that wasn't possible. He was really cold, and gone. He was still beautiful, though. Breathtaking, actually. His hair was combed up nicely, and his outfit was the same as I recall it being the day of the date. Blue and grey button down, black dress pants, and his red converse. I glance down at mine for a moment, before smiling wide. This was it, wasn't it? My precious Prince was gone, and he left me with no one. No family that actually cares for me like he did, no friends that care for me like he did either. Not even my twin brother, although this was perfect.

Before I know it, I'm slipping away from my train of thought. Then I realize that something is wrong with this funeral because I'm the only one crying and everyone else is just standing there like they're not even real. This isn't real. That's when Adam smiles at me.

I'm with him.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is probably bad, but I kind of rushed it because I came up with a devious idea while in the process of writing this, so, yeah. **

Drew groaned and stepped closer to Bianca, shaking his head and folding his arms over each other. "Why B? Why would you give him a gun!" he hissed, closing his eyes to hold back tears from both anger and sadness. Anger at Bianca, for being as stupid as she was. Sadness at knowing that Adam took his life with a gun that she had given him.

"H-he didn't tell me what it was for," she mumbled and looked down at her shoes, obviously lying. Drew could tell by the face her lips moved and her voice got higher. She had, in fact, known that Adam wanted to do something with the gun.

"Even if you didn't, why else would you give someone who has suicidal ideation a fucking gun?"

Bianca stood and bit her lip as a tear fell down her cheek. "Goodbye, Drew. I'm sorry for your loss." she said, almost choking on her words as she walked to the front door. She coudln't avoic him forever, and tomorrow was her usual night at the ravine. He'd go and talk to her. He needed to figure this out.

When she closed the door behind her, he took his shoe off and threw it at the door, collapsing onto the couch and crying harder than he ever had before. This reminded him of prom, when Adam had gotten shot. Drew thought it was his fault, but no, it wasn't. It was Bianca's for bringing either of them into the situation. And as hard as Drew had fallen for Bianca, he knew that he couldn't be with a girl who basically killed his brother. His only brother. His best friend.

Omar walked into the room, putting a finger to his lips and raising his eyebrows. "Son, its gonna be alright." he mumbled just loud enough for Drew to hear. "We'll get through this, I promise."

Drew's father was trying not to cry, swallowing hard when he felt the tears coming so that they wouldn't come. Not then, at least. He couldn't cry in front of Drew. He needed to help him feel better. "Its all my fault dad. First he gets shot a prom, and now he kills himself!" Drew exclaimed, although it was slightly muffled by the pillow and cushioning of the couch.

"This is in no way, whatsoever, your fault Andrew. Things happen, and even though we wish the didn't, they do. There's nothing we can do to change it except for move on and forgive ourselves for whatever we may have done wrong, because we'll never know if we'd actually done anything at all."

Drew sat up a bit, looking at his father with puffy eyes. "I'm trying dad, but I caused all of this." he shook his head and clenched his jaw, closing his eyes tightly. I'm going to bed, I'll see you in the morning.

Even though it was only 7 o'clock on at Friday night, Drew needed the sleep. He needed time to go by as fast as possible so he could talk to Bianca and get it over with. He walked to his room, slamming the door and falling onto his bed. He messed up his hair and let the tears out as he glanced at a picture of himself and Adam from one of the parties they had both gone to. The old Adam. The happy, smiling one that everyone had grown to know and love. Well, almost everyone.

Drew put Adam's favorite CD in his radio and played it. He and Adam would spend Tuesdays hanging out and listening to whatever music there was, and this was the most common. Tuesdays were when their parents were both at work until late, and they could afford to skip school since Drew was doing better and Adam was doing his usual amazing work.

Drew started dozing off, crying a bit as the music played. Once Adam's favorite song had come on his pillow was completely soaked in tears, but he didn't care. By the time the CD was done playing, Drew had fallen asleep.

oOo

The next morning, Drew woke up and stared up at his ceiling. He knew it was really early, but that gave him time to compose himself. He sat up, covering his face with the palm of his hand and letting out a groan. He was sweaty and his eyes hurt, as well as his nose. He'd never been this sad in his life, not even when his birth mother left him and his father behind. Not even when he found out what Owen and Fitz had done to his brother. Not even when he found out Bianca had cheated on him multiple times, knowing that he couldn't leave her side even to save his life. Nothing he had ever felt before could measure up to this pain inside of him, and this emptiness inside of his heart.

He stood, taking off his shirt from the day before and putting on a shirt that Adam had gotten him for his birthday a year ago. It was a bit tight, but he needed some kind of security. It was as if Adam was literally in his heart. He unbuttoned his jeans, kicking them off and putting a pair of red basketball shorts on, along with his shoes and socks. He thought about all the great times he and Adam had together. All the stupid brotherly fights that ended in them throwing popcorn at each other in the living room. When Dave would drive them to school and they would sing together like the fools they really were. People always thought Drew was this cocky jock type guy, but really, he wasn't. He was just trying to fit in at Degrassi, and with the way he looked, he pulled it off. He was just as silly and funny as Adam is- was.

High school had ruined him. As he was trying to play the role of the jock that everyone believe him to be, he actually became it. He stopped paying attention when other people were around. He ignored Adam when he had a chance of seeming less than what his reputation was at school. He wasn't there unless it was just them and people that didn't just see Drew as the cool guy at school. The people that didn't think of him that way were Adam and his friends. He wasn't there enough for Adam, and he should have been. He could have been but it was too late.

The girl he was in love with. Is in love with. She gave his brother the gun he used to end his life. He wasn't sure if he loved her anymore or not, but there was enough common sense in him to realize he had to figure it all out to get some closure from the situation. After this he would probably never talk to Bianca or any of the people she's associated with again.

He walked to the kitchen, looking through the fridge and finding nothing to eat. He settled on a bowl of cereal with a piece of toast. There would be about 4 more hours until Bianca would be at the Ravine. He had to keep himself occupied until then. In that time he took a shower, did his homework, looked through all of the pictures of himself and Adam, walked the neighbors dog, cleaned around the house, and did the dishes. By the time he had finished doing all of that it was almost 3:30, so he headed to the Ravine

oOo

When he got to the Ravine, people were scattered around smoking and drinking. It smelled of marijuana and sweat, mixed with vodka. He stumbled through the crowds of people, looking for Bianca. When he spotted her, she was surrounded by a few guys that Drew hadn't seen before. _Really Bianca? Moving on already?_, he thought to himself before stepping into her view. Her eyes narrowed, nodding at the guys to walk away. They did, and it was just Drew and Bianca standing there.

"What do you want, Torres?" she said sternly, crossing her arms over her chest and looking him up and down. He let out a breath, glancing over his shoulder and seeing the guys talking over by a car. He stepped closer to her, moving his hand towards her for her to take. She didn't though, so he put it back to his side and groaned.

"I want to know..." he trailed off, looking into her brown eyes and feeling tears coming. "I want to know, why," he started again and looked down at his feet quickly as a couple tears rolled down his cheeks. "Why'd you give Adam the gun, Bianca? I need some closure so I can get over this." he choked back more tears and looked back up to her. Her face dropped, but she quickly regained her expression and smirked at him.

"He was a freak, Torres, now leave." she said and nodded at him, blinking a few times and gesturing for him to go back from where he came.

"So we're back on last names now, DeSousa? Just tell me why you gave him the damn gun!" he exclaimed and looked her angrily, hoping it wasn't as loud as he thought it was, but knew it was when Bianca winced and stepped back.

"I never loved you, Drew. I knew it would happen eventually, so I stuck around. I played you." she spoke with such confidence that it made Drew sick.

He shook his head, looking down and pointing at the girl. "You fucking played me, Bianca, er, Desousa? Go to hell. He was all I had left, other than you. Now I have nobody because of yo-"

Before Drew could finish, the guys were behind him, holding him in his place with a gun to the back of his head. "Lights out, freak." whispered one of the guys in his ear before pulling the trigger. Drew didn't budge until the bullet hit him, he didn't want to. He didn't care if he died because now he had nothing else to live for at all. Everyone he loved was either gone or had used him. So he would be gone with his brother.

His body hit the ground, and people looked over at where the gunshot had come from. They didn't run, they didn't do anything. They just stood there and looked at his body in fear. Right then Adam was probably flipping out because the people that made him do it are getting away clean. Hopefully the guilt would get to them. Hopefully.


End file.
